Years ago, I wrote a blog on how one must go about procrastinating effectively (with tons of life advice from yours truly). Now it’s floating around somewhere in the depths of the internet, so I thought I would write up a quick refresher on how not to stop procrastinating until it’s too late. I wrote this, of course, while procrastinating one of the side-projects I’ve been meaning to start on the weekends.
Here we go!
Start a new side project.
It’s a widely known fact that the sudden productivity that shoots through your veins when you start something new in the middle of important work is the best feeling in the world. You just HAVE to get those thousand or so words from a new plot bunny on paper or it’d be lost forever, okay. Similarly, it’s common to find inspiration for an old project you’d completely lost interest in or had been procrastinating for a while.
Watch a show that’s been in your watch list for years.
Obviously, now’s the only time you’ll get around to starting it. Otherwise you’ll just forget about it again and it’s going to stay there forever. And what happens when it comes up in social situations? You’ll have to admit you still haven’t watched it, and go through the whole oh-you-need-to-and-here’s-why spiel again.
Go through an existential crisis while stressfully chuckling at memes.
Have you even truly procrastinated unless you’ve scrolled two days into your social media timeline, telling yourself you’ll start working exactly when the new hour starts — and rinse and repeat when it inevitably passes and you’re like, ‘oh, well, I guess I’ve got to wait until the next hour.’ Cue mental shame, regret, and guilt.
Make a list of all the things you need to do, and keep adding to it until it looks like your monthly grocery list.
It’s not enough to merely list down the tasks that need your immediate attention (the ones you’re escaping from while making this very list). No, your list must be the one list to rule them all. The Ultimate List. A complete five-year plan in order of importance and relevancy, annotated with your thoughts and ambitions, with emphasis on various key areas of focus. Once you finish this list, you can proceed to then stress about it for the next few weeks until you ultimately forget about it.
Write your award speech.
Though this activity is usually practised inside the mind, feel free to jot down specific pointers and inspired lines that come into your mind as you imagine yourself receiving the award you know you’re going to win one day. It’ll prove helpful when that day comes, after all; you know you’re never able to do something when you really have to.
Oh, look, your favourite AO3 author posted a new ficlet. Time to read all their works again.
Sometimes you need to go through a nice 75k enemies-to-lovers slowburn before you feel ready to take on adult responsibilities, okay. That’s alright. You’re just going to finish this one up quickly, stop procrastinating, and finally get to work.
Whatever happens, do NOT stop procrastinating until it’s an hour before submission. That’s when you can panic and rush through work that you’re 100% aware is not even close to your best. But, well, it always works out, right? You’ll just put more effort into the next one. Promise.
(Read a poem I wrote while procrastinating and thinking about lost friendships here.)